Originally Posted by Chuck8464
He has not said, He was very specific - even asking to make sure it was typed and not hand written. (?) I did not ask why. Like a lot of men I carry a lot of guilt and sadness but will not divulge things that in the end will be more hurtful or that are just not his business. The affair is over. Yes, she still works with me - shes in another state with contact only through email till I find another job.
Uh, Chuck, we've got a bigger problem here than your son.

That problem is the fact of your remaining in contact in any way/shape/form with the other woman.

As a man who had an affair & who has saved his marriage, I am here to tell you, NFW is that gonna work.

The reason your son wants this info is probably that he doesn't have a clue what to believe; and what he knows for a fact, doesn't add up. But this isn't really about you & your son. It's about your marriage & the girl whose ring you took.

Can you answer me: What is it that makes you think you can save your marriage as long as you remain in contact with her? Do you, sir, not understand & get how profoundly disrespectful & hurtful it is to your wife for you to remain in any sort of contact with the other woman?

That's not merely a rhetorical question. Do you not realize it? What's your answer, Chuck?

You may be able to fool your wife. I've been in your shoes; you cannot fool me. I can be your best friend here, but you've gotta tell me, what's your answer?

Last edited by GloveOil; 11/11/11 12:42 PM. Reason: My apologies for my earlier formulation. Substituting verb "fool"

Me: FWH, 50
My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold
DD23, DS19
EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09
Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009
Married 25 years & counting.
Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband.
"I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol
"Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009