Originally Posted By: markos
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
Originally Posted By: Prisca
Listen to the call Markos had with him a few days after Steve (Oct 27, 2011). Dr. Harley was very specific in that he does not usually advise men to separate because of neglect. An affair, yes. Neglect, no.

He has on occasion, but it is not his usual recommendation for men.

If Dr. Harley told Hilltopper to separate and go to Plan B, then he should. But he hasn't.

And all that aside, Hilltopper has yet to do a Plan A.


Serious talk going on right now. I was honest but respectful. She is crying and went to take a shower before coming back to continue. I pray with all my heart we have a breakthrough together.


I continue to pray for you guys, Hilltopper, but I'm fearful that if you guys had a talk and she is crying that the direction you go from here may not be good. She may begin to feel trapped that she "has" to do whatever it is you are asking for. I can tell you from experience it is so much better to win over her emotions first such that she wants to make you happy. Talks reach her logic; meeting emotional needs reach her emotions.

Please post an update and let us know what's happening now, okay?


Talk went well. She said she likes the new me, but that she got so used to doing her own thing without me because I was never interested in her. In other words she gave up on me long, long ago. That and she is incredibly worn out every with the kids and everything else that concerns her day to day. I was quite honest with her in my letter on how I feel. I'm quite scared to be honest that Plan B might have to come into play when I know that it shouldn't have to. The "reaching her emotions" part hit home and I'm trying to do that each day. Thanks for the prayers.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD