Hi RookKev, good to see you!

One thing I have learned over the years is that a successful recovery has to be based on just compensation and the romantic love has to be re-created in the marriage. When those things take place, the good feelings in the marriage replace the bad feelings from the affair. When a couple does not do those things, resentment and bitterness about the affair tend to haunt the marriage for many years. Harley says when there is residual resentment after an affair that recovery is not complete.

Harley wrote a really good newsletter about trust that you might like:

Originally Posted by Dr Harley
Trust should begin with a commitment to be thoughtful and honest. Without that commitment, it's foolish to trust your spouse. Then, that commitment must be followed up with thoughtful and honest behavior. By following the Policy of Joint Agreement and the Policy of Radical Honesty consistently, a spouse would eventually prove his or her trustworthiness. here

Thread with radio clips about lingering resentment: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2594724#Post2594724


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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