Because hearing the words come out of her mouth were not part of my process of forgiveness, with the exception that it was something I was able to give her once she confessed. Up until that point of confession, all I had was conjecture. I believe that having already explored that possibility and made up my mind prior to the confession alllowed be to respond in as loving fashion as I could, even when perhaps she was the most unlovable she could have been. I tried to respond as Christ would have, to the best of my ability. Her coming home and confessing was a statement of it being over... go, and sin no more.

Acknowledge their harm? For me, that is obvious, as it was for her. To rub her nose in it? Is that goign to rebuild anything. Does she understand the grief and sorrow I suffered? You might not think so, because I didn't 'attack' her with it. However, life has a way of bringing situations into your life that open your eyes. She has had multiple friends now that have suffered from spouses cheating on them, as well as friends that have talked to her about doing it.

I would be lying if I didn't say I didn't sit back with a bit of glee to hear her describe the anguish her friend was suffering. Or a movie where the Betrayed just offs everyone! I know that during those moments, she has full recognition of what I endured. And for what? Yes, at the hope of recovering my marriage and family.

9 years now ... and some days you still say grrr!
Hang in there.