Sometimes I type faster than my brain, and maybe I am not explaining myself clearly. When my WW moved out, it was in secrecy. Unconfessed. I agreed to her moving out for 3 months, and agreed that she would return after this 'alone' time. Of course, I was devasted and realized what it meant, but up until the moment when she came home 3 months later, and confessed it to me with her own mouth, I had no proof. I didn't seek it. I didn't try and catch her. Nor recordings, no hidden cameras or GPS'... not that I didn't think about it, but I didn't do it.

However, given the state of things, and the knowledge I gained from SAA, as well as members on this site, I was quite sure of what she was up to. I had decided that my course of action would be predetermined regardless of what she told me. If she said nothing happened, then so be it, even easier...and if she confessed to the worst, so be it, I know what I want. I wanted a recovered marriage. I made up my mind that I would forgive her no matter what she said.

And yes, thank you for saying it so eloquently, I gave her forgiveness she never earned. That may be the greatest compliment I have ever received in my entire life. And honestly, if it wouldn't seem to be so prideful, I would print it out and hand it to Jesus as I enter the gates of Heaven. I would tell him that, I tried my best to be like Him, and at least once, it appears I got it right. smile

I'm not saying my way is perfect, or the best, or even recommended....but I am here, with my wife and my children, and our family is as healthy as I could ask for considering the past we have overcome.

9 years now ... and some days you still say grrr!
Hang in there.