You are probably more versed in MB concepts than myself but perhaps an objective opinion would be acceptable to you.
First I have to say the intelligence level of pit bull owners is usually inversely proportional to the dog's likelihood of killing something that has a heartbeat. There is no winning with these people.

Your story above seems to illustrate to me a lack of nothing more than use of POJA. I believe it would solve the wake problem and then the tone would be set for the day - leading to smooth sailing in all other areas. I beleive the SD's/DJ's on both sides would diminish. (your complaints which are legitimate evidently become SD's because you don't feel heard the first 10 times).
I don't know much about you or your implementation of MB principles in your marriage and don't really have time to investigate, but I wonder how much understanding your husband has of using the POJA technique.

just an outside perspective for what it's worth.