Originally Posted by CWMI
A woman who wouldn't outsource all the laundry? Nonsense! smile

You know the answer here is POJA. Acknowledge the problem, offer solutions, agree on what to do. This is how we ended up with a robot vacuum. Also, sending out H's work clothes for launderin' and pressin'. These were things that were important to him to have done, and I didn't object to them getting done, only ME having to do them. smile

With the handyman solution, make sure she is comfortable with him (or her, lol). We've had some workers in our home while H was away who made me much less than comfortable, and others who I would have invited their whole families over for a cook-out. I suggest, after POJAing hiring someone to take care of those tasks, to do an interview/estimate in your home with your wife present. You two sit down and make a list of the tasks to be done asap, and bring in some bidders. Ask neighbors and/or coworkers for recommendations.

Hard to POJA with someone who for the most part rejected MB, particularly the forum. I think she follows many of the principles without realizing it but for the most part by working on "me" for the past year it has made it easier on both of us because her bank isn't negative like it used to be. We still struggle with her DJ's and what typically happens is I reach a point where I've had enough and I fire back. It used to happen 5 times a day, not it is about once every 10 days and even at that we recover very quickly. Another thing that bothers me is that so many things bother her. Is that ok to be bothered by that? smile I think it is more that she says anything and everything that comes to mind and it wears me down because it is kind of a drag to be around the doom and gloom 24-7. I have to be careful here, because I tend to judge her mentality and way of seeing things and it is REALLY, really hard for me. She would go to any amount of effort and spend any amount of money to get/keep the house just how she likes it, whereas I figure that houses are made to be lived in. Things get dirty and things break. There isn't unlimited money nor time to pay for and fix them all today. I'm sure she doesn't understand why I don't get irritated as easily as she does when something breaks or when there is a stain on the carpet that suddenly appears. I grew up in a house where my Dad obsessed over every little thing and he to this day will spend any amount of money fixing and upgrading things. I think I developed a very low threshold for this mentality so I'm doing the best I can to solve some of my wife's irritations with the house without spending beyond our means.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD