This strategy from Dr. Harley is very hard to do, but it works in my marriage. It usually takes just slightly longer than I expect/want it to take:

Originally Posted By: Dr. Harley
But even though she made an abusive remark, you can end the cycle of abuse before it begins if you don't accelerate negativity (that means, matching her abuse with abuse of your own). What you should do is ignore the abuse on her side, and in your own mind re-translate what she said to be "I would prefer it if you would dry the dishes this way, instead of the way you are drying them."


http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5067b_qa.html


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Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.