Originally Posted by MrNiceGuy
Originally Posted by markos
As an alternative to ignoring her mood, I would say focus on learning to be calm regardless of her mood. Her moods and feelings are important for you to recognize and respond to! It's just important that if she gets emotional, you do not become upset, or worse, abusive (demanding/disrespectful/angry). Even if she becomes abusive.

Everything i had said prior to this comment was a practical way of saying the same thing really just alot more descriptive ... something you could grasp and DO. My approach was not for him to IGNORE her feelings as you think I was saying .. but rather not let it bother him so much (yes i understand she will expect a response but it should be a laid back response and not return her outbursts for an outburst of his own)IE: Roll with the punches.

Take notes on her PMS time (i found this very important so I could pre determine he bad moods) ... etc ... and prepare for those times mentally and give your wife some grace for those times. I also mentioned that Hills wife would test him to see if his new "im not going to let your emotional outbursts effect me" attitude is real or not .. this "testing period" may last for a while until she feels its really true.

(re read my practical approach to rolling with the punches on page 139) that Approach works like this for me now ..

-2 weeks of "my wife can hardly keep her hands off me"
-1 week of "im the most horrible jerk in the world and DONT even think about touching me"
-1 Week of HER sucking up for her terrible emotional outbursts with TONS of thank yous for not letting it get to me and not putting up with her emotionally charged PMS week and not taking things she said seriously during that time as she says herself "during my PMS week i often dont realy know what i want and get mad for the silliest of reasons and later regret getting mad at all". I get constantly thanked for not being so sensitive anymore .. and Rolling with the punches when i dont get my needs met in a timely manner. That approach (written on page 139) allows me to be more in control of myself rather then let my unmet needs create an emotional outburst. This is me though .. and its working great for us. Combine that with the MB principals and we have GOLD! (my wife is MADLY in love with me now BTW and loves this approach that I have incorporated into myself)

Keep up the good work Hill, hopefully things turn around for you ... Keep the DJs from coming out .. stop projecting desperate energy towards your wife in regards to SF and things WILL turn around.


Interesting. I'd say PMS week is a few days away then, so I'll watch out for it!

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD