Hill ... im sorry man that things turned out not so good. HOwever .. you determined already that your wifes horomones could be shifting any day now. NOW is the time for you to be consistant with your self control and allowing plenty of room for grace. (especially since your wife is not a MBer)


Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972

One thing that might be unique in my situation that MrNiceGuy did bring up is that my wife may not be attracted to the "needy" guy who brings up problems all the time respectfully.



NO Woman is attracted to the "needy guy" .. ever. It places your happiness on her which pressures her on top of her already busy life. You have to be happy with yourself (consistantly) before your wife will be attracted to you regardless of HER emotional state.

You need to become magnetic and confident to her.

You see (and i have tested this with my wife) ALOT of women (notice i didnt say all women) are not attracted to a man who tells them how great they are all the time (some yes, not all though), talks about his feelings for them and agrees with everything they say (they say they want this but after a while they really dont). In fact they are usually repelled by this behavior because it is SUBMISSIVE! They are attracted to a man who is the center of his reality and has the balls to speak his mind. He doesn't feed into her emotional states. INSTEAD you flip the game with humor and tension so that she feeds into YOUR reality. How?

So many do it wrong (heck i have been doing it wrong for a long time until recently) .. it becomes insulting to the woman and then you come off as an A$$. The trick is to do it in a way that she cant help but laugh. Turn it into a flirt. Tongue in cheek style. Tease and entice, not insult or be arrogant!

Example:

HER: Can you put this in the trash for me?

Old You: Oh, of course! Do you need anything else?
New You: No! Haha just kidding. Sure I can, but what's in it for me? stickout

Be Playful about it! Poke her. Throw paperclips at her head and when she looks your way, whistle like it wasn't you. Twirl her around and dip her ballroom dance style. Tickle her. Steal something from her and get her to wrestle you for it. Give her a piggy-back ride and run at full speed while humming the Jedi theme to Star Wars! ANYTHING ... just have fun make her feel alive again! We always hear how our wives want and love to be swept off their feet, but few of us have the intuition to take this literally or we get so caught up in life and have forgotten how to have fun. It's okay to smile and be a goof sometimes!

You ask if your wife is testing you? OF COURSE SHE IS. Especially if your attitude is changing from the norm ... your wife might want to see if its for real. She wants to FEEL your changes as permanent so she may push your buttons to see where the new ones are. If you RARELY falter in your emotional state (keeping it from being negative) she will eventually give up doing these tests because you will be stimulating in other ways!

OK I have typed alot and may end up eating some crow for some of it lol ... and am going off on a rampage here. I think you get the point. Lighten up! Dont let trivial things become world disasters. (this is where confidence and rolling with the punches comes in handy). The pendulum will swing back in your favor..


"You have to FREE YOUR MIND" ~ Morpheus

MNG

Edit to add an example.

Last edited by MrNiceGuy; 07/11/12 12:17 PM.