Originally Posted By: Prisca
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
Interesting, I was prepared for getting smacked up side the head for my theory. That article is right on the money though. That is exactly how things progress in my marriage. She doesn't mean anything by it so I'll translate for the time being while I win her back.

This is very good. Respond to the complaint, not the disrespect.

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I guess I have such an issue with someone telling me to do something that they themselves do. It is really an insignificant issue, just a Tupperware dish in the sink, but to me it represents a whole slew of things:

1. I don't like being spoken to disrespectfully.
2. I don't like being referred to as the opposite of nice for not doing a dish that she apparently didn't have time for either(hypocritical?)
3. I don't like that the hard work to make coming home a relaxing fun environment with dinner, clean house, and music goes ignored.

Do you have a high need for Admiration? Dr. Harley has said that people who do are hit harder by DJs than people who don't. A DJ is 100% the complete opposite of Admiration.

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Here is the main difference between my wife me. When she is disrespectful she frequently doesn't know that she is or didn't mean to be. When I'm disrespectful I know EXACTLY what I mean and how it will be received.

You've also been disrespectful without knowing it. I've seen you do it smile Not recently, though. I would say that you are getting a better control on that.


I believe I do have a high need for admiration from my wife, although not in other areas of my life. I hadn't realized it until just now. As far as being disrespectful and no knowing it, I think I have a better grasp on it.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD