Originally Posted by markos
I finally found my notes about categories of disrespectful judgments. They are not as organized as I'd like, but here they are:

sarcasm
criticism
judgment: stating that their perspective is wrong
"should"
lecturing/attempting to educate
gestures, facial expressions? body language?
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2531712#Post2531712
expressing surprise or shock at an opinion or feeling or belief

guilting, shaming
hyperbolizing
always/never
exaggerated words
scolding
name-calling, labelling
saying or doing something you know your spouse identifies as disrespectful

attributing motivations
blaming, fault-finding
expecting them to read your mind


I statements help, but are not an excuse for a disrespectful judgment:
I feel like (DJ)
I feel unloved.
I feel like you don't love me.

Add to my list:
defensiveness

I'm pretty sure I've seen or heard Dr. Harley specifically mention this one. And I know that Prisca finds it disrespectful! Who wants to be talking and expressing their complaint and see it met with a defensive reaction that tries to prove the complaint is invalid? Nobody, I think. smile

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Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.