Originally Posted By: CWMI
Has she always been like that, or is it only after three kids and a less-than-satisfying marriage?

What are you doing to put some stress-relieving fun into the marriage? Ziplining? Swing dancing? Any physically active dates going on?


We have tons of fun together without the kids. Mostly nights out to dinner, shopping, book store, etc. Sometimes running, but not as much as we'd like. Overnight at the Four Seasons for our anniversary. Massages at least once per week. Today she has to drive down to a baby shower over an hour away with the two girls while I stay with the boy. Everything from picking the gift, to directions(I printed out for her), to the time it takes has been commented on. Lots of sighs and what I would describe as drama. To answer your question, yes she has always been like that, but it is significantly worse now with 3 kids. Marriage is as good as it has been in 5 years, but we have a long way to go. The 3rd child would be the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm just gonna continue to eliminate the DJs, be understanding when I can, be a problem solver when appropriate, etc. When she crosses the threshold I think the two of us will be awesome, but I do not see the doom and gloom with life's daily duties going away. I want her to view me as the only person that "get's her," and because of that I become her #1 companion to be with. The doom and gloom bothers me a lot more when my needs aren't being met. The traps I frequently fall into are when I'm feeling neglected. When I'm feeling neglected I tend to react to her doom and gloom by straightening her out. Huge mistake to do that and one I cannot afford to do if I want her to love me and be into me. I don't think the doom and gloom bothers me nearly as much when I feel that she is attending to me.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD