Originally Posted by CWMI
The correct response would have been, "No."

Asking you a question is not criticism! Try simply answering questions. Did you? No. Why not? Didn't know. Will you? Sure, tomorrow. Thanks, hun!


I understand and I will try it. Dr H often says that the measurement of whether something is a DJ would be based on the feelings of the offended spouse? In this case that was me. I still think I need to be able to ascertain the difference between a DJ or SD, and that of a question with no underlying criticism. My wife has made it a point for as long as I can remember to point out flaws in my character. I have done this too to her, but for what I'm trying to accomplish I'd like to focus on me handling her verbalization's correctly. When she asked if I had returned something that she did not ask me to return I immediately felt attacked and painted into a corner that I could not possibly win from. If I respectfully disagree, she gets upset that I always take things the wrong way. If I take the high road then I believe this empowers her to do more of the same in the future which drains my love bank. I still say there is an element of truth serum that I don't do well with. If something isn't true then I feel compelled to point it out. If something isn't fair I do the same thing, especially with my kids. I guess I'm a very principled person and I'll let you guys guide me on the pitfalls of being this way, and when or how to pick and choose my battles.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD