Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
I think more than anything I'm just disappointed. Is it a DJ to be disappointed in my wife's behavior?

No, your feelings are not a DJ. But it is easy to respond with one, or in some other way that is a love bank withdrawal.

And Dr. Harley did tell me that to tell my wife I am "bothered" when she does not do something is a demand and/or disrespectful judgment, because even though it is an accurate reflection of my feelings, it is guilting her into responding.

The hardest thing I ever did in life was change an attitude of "I'm extremely disappointed" to a non-demanding "I'd really like it if..."

So "It bothers me that we don't have more sex" is a no-no, but, "I'd like to have sex once a week" is ok?

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD