I didn't bother trying to POJA saving my marriage, Hill. When one spouse is having an attitude of 'oh, the heck with it all! I'm not doing anything!' (not saying Grace is, just saying I know *someone* who was), trying to get a POJA from them to do anything toward the marriage is quite frustrating and unfruitful.

At that point, the choice is pretty clear: either stand back while they destroy the marriage, or do something about it.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)