In other words, women often need to start having sex before they have the desire for sex.

I think most women in mutually satisfying relationships often agree to sex when it's not something they are "up to" at the moment, but they know it's something their husband really needs. And usually, it ends up being really good for her too (if her husband is smart).

Not sure why your wife isn'twilling to do that?

She is not willing to do that because she is not in love.

A woman needs 2 things in order to enjoy sex: the feeling of being in love, and the prospect of enjoyment.

Her lovebank isn't full yet. When it is, she will have an easier time fulfilling this need.

Markos' Wife
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband