CWMI i found my wife did not respond well to a sexual event if it was scheduled. (Hills wife seems alot like mine was in regards to her attitude towards MB when she first heard of it)

Scheduling puts "pressure" on her (at least thats what my wife said). And IT would often lead to awkward moments where my wife would say something like "So i guess we should have sex then huh?" and she would do that act .. but be lifeless. Which is NOT fulfilling. (she considered it filling my SF need though so i stopped wanting SF for a while because of this which also helped for some reason lol) Proably took the pressure off her then she began to wonder why i was not approaching her anymore. I would touch her gently, tell her i love her then pull my touch away and walk to another room and let her come to me.

I had to give her time to reprogram herself and let her learn that I am safe .. and I can roll with the punches. This unfortunately took many months .. probably 4 or 5 of them.

In the mean time I listened to my wife who told me i needed to be more fun .. more easy going .. not so much of a push over where i just agreed with her all the time. She told me she wanted me to take charge more of some things and stand up to her on the occasion ... she told me she wanted to be able to not have sex on a sex scheduled night and I should be OK with that to not care so much about it and just let it happen if its going to happen ... and just cuddle instead. If i got pissy about it .. She would reply "see .. your not changed at all!" and we would go back to day one with the testing again Because she would prove I was still the same old emotional guy that apparently only cared to get his own needs met. Of course this usually panned out after several weeks of not getting My needs met i would be confronted with that same line "you just want to get your own needs met and dont care about anyone elses". Which is not true! I couldnt argue the point because then it would prove to her in her mind that it was true.

Tough road. But I have given Hill all the advice I have came across that helped me get out of my funk so i was better able to give grace to my wife so she could get out of her funk.

Keep at it hill ... I am rooting for ya!


Last edited by MrNiceGuy; 07/24/12 05:16 PM.