Originally Posted by kilted_thrower
G ood idea on calling Steve. I know he's had a lot of success with reluctant spouses. Every wife is different and you can't compare your marriage to others.

My wife and I never had a lack of sex even at the worst of our relationship. It wasn't because my wife was in love with me but because she likes sex, didn't want to be unfaithful,and has never slept with more than one person at a time. Physically the sex was good but not near as fulfilling as it is now that we're in love.

My wife wasn't overly phased by DJs as most are. So we'd fight, say hurtful things, and after calming down, apologize, and for the most part it was over. So I didn't have to go weeks and months without a DJ for things to get better.

On the other hand, we had other really stressful situations that we had to deal with.

What something has to change. I poked the snail and my wife is in withdrawal again. She clammed up and said she'd respond to my email by the end of the day. Historically this means she won't respond at all. I'm glad you understand how I feel. I feel this need for perfection and that I'm chasing some fantasy that'll never materialize. I can stop the DJ's all I want and intend to do so, but if we don't spend enough time together nothing will truly change.

I apologized to my wife for blowing up and told her that I'm so incredibly frustrated that something dramatic has to change. I laid out the sitter 4 hours per day idea and we have a candidate which is a previous sitter that is home for the summer. I'm sad because my wife saw the man she saw last year last night and this morning. I have a tremendous issue controlling my emotions so I'm gonna try and do some relaxation drills and chill out and use my brain before any further damage occurs.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD