Originally Posted by CWMI
I agree with MNG, be prepared, and keep your cool.

Or GET a cool to keep, lol. Borrow one if you have to.

Have you read any of the stuff about push-back, change-back behavior? With a reluctant spouse, they are often reluctant because the way things are WORK for them. They shouldn't have to do anything different, and sure don't appreciate you doing anything different (like expecting care from them). So, during the change-over to a mutually satisfying and beneficial marriage, they will scream (you can safely ignore this). Eventually, with *consistent application* of MB concepts, they will see how it creates something better than what they had and thought they wanted.

However, going from A to B is not a short trip through candyland. There's no puppies or rainbows. It's more like hellfire and dragons. BE PREPARED, and be cool, calm, and collected. Eye on the prize and all that.

You hit the nail on the head I'd say. You summed up my wife's attitude which is that she shouldn't have to DO anything. I'm not judging, this is the critical element of many of the conversations we've had. I typically want to disrupt the way things are and make change, strive for something better, but my wife just wants me to not react so severely to things and let them roll off my back. Without a doubt she wants me to let her DJ me or do other LBs that I don't like and just suck it up. If I just suck it up and don't react and take the higher road then things are great for her which is what I've been doing for the last 6 months with an occasional "reaction". For me things are not ok because I still feel neglected daily with an occasional flash of fun together.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD