That is a skill I have not mastered but am working on daily. My wife escalates things even if I respectfully react to something such as a DJ. In other words in her world I shouldn't react to anything, I should just take it in and not complain in any way, respectfully or disrespectfully. To her speaking to me rudely shouldn't matter.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD