Thanks again Pepperband for turnnig me on to this topic. I started reading BRF recently, and it's very interesting. I'm only up to about page 40 or 50, but I like it a lot, and I would already recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it.

One thing that surprised me was Dr. Harley's description of his dating experience with Joyce. He talks about being a freeloader when they first started dating, changing to a renter, and then deciding to become a buyer by marrying her. The part that suprised me was that while they were engaged, Joyce actually dated someone else "as a last fling." They obviously worked that out, but he did say he had some reservations about whether she might repeat that after they got married. She assured him she wouldn't, and he believed her, but it must've been awfully unsettling to go through. I tried imagining how I would feel if I was engaged and my fiancee started dating someone else - at a minimum, I'd lose confidence in the relationship. I would expect my fiancee to at least break off the engagement before dating someone else.

He also describes Joyce and himself dating many other people before they married but not finding any that were as compatible as they were with each other. Their dating experience gave them both confirmation that they were right for each other. They were 19 and 20 when they married, and I wonder if such extensive dating is necessary for someone much older, say 40's or 50's. I would think by then, such a person would have a much better understanding of who they are and what they want in a marriage partner and wouldn't have to date 30 people to have confidence in their choice. Maybe not ALL people in that age category have that understanding about themselves, but I think some do.

Anyways, love the book, thanks for the recommendation!