I have a question for students of Buyers, Renters & Freeloaders.

In the chapter "We All Have Split Personalities," Dr. Harley describes the pros and cons of the Giver and Taker in each of us.

In the two sections "The Buyer's and Freeloader's Agreements Resist Sacrifice" and "The Renter's Agreement Inspires Arguments and Fights," he goes on to say that Freeloaders and Buyers keep their Givers and Takers in check, but Renters do not, and this allows sacrifice into the relationship, which is ultimately destructive.

When I read those sections, it seemed to me that the Renter's agreement should be avoided.

But now that I'm re-reading the book and analyzing it, I found this in an earlier chapter describing the Renter's agreement (from the chapter "I'll Do Anything to Make You Happy...for a While"):

Quote:
I regard the Renter's agreement as an essential stage in the development of any romantic relationship.

If the Renter's agreement allows sacrifice, which is known to be destructive to a relationship, why is it essential?