When you first meet someone new, your relationship is that of a freeloader but if you really like that person and enjoy their company you are going to gradually become renters because being with that person makes you feel good and so you want to make them feel good too so that you spend more time together.

But you are full of romantic love so your givers are out in full force. Your rental mindset is not a problem as you are only thinking about ways to make each other happy.

The trap people fall into is in thinking that this is 'true love' and can therefore last for ever but it can't. There comes a time when your taker re-emerges which is healthy because otherwise resentment would start to build.

That is why the gold standard is a buyer relationship where each has their giver and taker in balance. Nobody sacrifices, nobody compromises, both are honest. Negotiation and mutual respect rule the relationship.


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)