Let me just preface this by saying that things have been going very well; we date like teenagers, our conflict resolution is 'through the roof' when compared to our old way of resolving conflicts, and I really, really feel loved these days. He is VASTLY more O&H.

However, we had an issue that I would like advice on, because while it seems settled, I still feel a little unsettled and frankly, I want someone to talk me out of physical violence. smile

Here's the sitch: Twice a week, my husband takes the kids to the bus stop in the morning because I have to leave early to get to school myself. We have some new folks in the neighborhood who use our stop. One of them is a woman with a young daughter, ~3 years younger than any of our children, so kindergarten or first grade. I'd seen them at the stop, but never talked with them (I drive up there, as everyone else does--some do it because of distance, I do it because then I don't have to get dressed, lol). H started going up there (My classes started a couple weeks after theirs), and came home one evening telling me that woman with young daughter told him that she had trouble getting to work on time after waiting for the bus, and if he didn't mind, would he keep an eye on her daughter if he was going to be up there? H told her, sure, either him or his wife (me) would be up there always, no problem.

I thought initially that it was weird, who leaves their daughter on a street corner with a strange man? But okay, we have a nice neighborhood and we have several neighbors with whom we share child-care duties in tight situations. So, to make sure I was approachable for HER to make such a request of ME, I walked up there the next day, like my H does.


She sat in her car with her daughter until the bus came.

I waited WEEKS for this woman to approach me, or one of the other two mothers at the stop, but nope...she has never said a word to any of us. She comes up there with her daughter and sits in her car and waits for the bus. But when my H is there, according to our children, she pulls up, lets the kid out, waves to my H and drives off.


I told H he needed to stop it. I was not comfortable with my H 'doing favors' for a woman who only asked him, and doesn't speak to ANY of the mothers, most especially the wife of the man from whom she asked a favor. Also, it stinks like a trap to me. Who leaves their daughter with a man, but won't ask a mother for the same favor? It seems...predatory.

So, after a bit of discussion, my H finally told her that he could not be responsible for her daughter and that she had put him in an uncomfortable position, and asked her why she had never talked to his wife? She said she just didn't think of it. ????

Now I want to rip her out of her car by her hair. When H stopped waving off and accepting responsibility for her daughter was a couple of weeks ago, and the woman has YET to say a word to me. Which concerns me a great deal. I realize she does not have great judgment to begin with, but should I confront her? I feel like she owes me an apology for using my husband, and I would be a very happy gal to know that she was sorry for inadvertently causing ANY discourse in our home (the awkward position, his wife).

But it's just *crickets*. So I want to beat the crap out of her, beat into her head that you don't leave your daughter with strange men, and you don't ask other women's husbands for favors.

Help! My natural inclination is something like, set her house on fire.

I feel like my H was doing something that he or I would do, I just don't like the one-sidedness of the whole thing.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)