I hestitate to say this, but you are in no position to save your marriage. I've seen this a hundred times unfortunately. Rarely do things work out. It's extremely likely that your W is having an affair, or at least one or more ONS. She will be getting ALOT of attention from men and eventually, if not already, she will cave. Your LB$ balance is too low due to your separation.

The only way to fix this is for you to live with her TODAY which would mean not joining the military yourself. Since that is not likely to happen, you really are at a loss. Without any kids in the picture, I (me) would just cry it out as love lost and file for D.

Really, alot of the options presented to you on this thread would be doable IF you were not separated by an ocean.

The other option is just to keep doing what you're doing. Maybe...eventually...she will move you out there. THEN you can work to R your marriage. Trying to do it now, over the phone, when she is enjoying her single life, isn't going to happen.

I hate to be debbie downer but i've seen your situation before. Young women who are married w/out children tend to play the field a bit when they join if thier hubby geographically separated. Hell, my wife did it twice (and that's WITH two kids). Not saying this is a forgone conclusion, but I would HATE to see you give up your chances for a successful military carreer trying to save something that may be too far gone.

My $.02

Me: BH, 36 Military Officer
FWS: 36, repeat offender
Married: Valentine's Day 1998
DD-15/ DS-10
Almost recovered and ahead of schedule