Hi, anonymityplease,

Welcome to Marriage Builders. I am sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here, because many people here have been where you are and have ended up well.

YES there are plenty of cases here where a spouse had an affair and wanted independence and eventually came back around. But you should know that the path to recovery is very narrow. People who deviate from that path usually do not recover their marriages.

Have you looked at Dr. Harley's materials? He is our expert here and the plans here are based on his experience with thousands of couples, including many who have gone through infidelity. You should get his book Surviving an Affair right away because it contains a lot of information you need for recovery.

In Dr. Harley's experience the first step to recovery from an affair is usually when the betrayed spouse exposes the affair, telling family, friends, church, work, etc. about the affair and throwing the light of day on it. Have you done this?

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.