The other man (is that "OM"?) lives 70 miles away. She met him while visiting there. They texted a lot and would meet up halfway between, probably to avoid accidental exposure to anyone they might know. And ever since I exposed the affair to her, she has not visited that city any more.

Another thing that makes this difficult to me is that I have no one to turn to in the midst of the most painful experience of my life. No one knows what she has done except me, her, and our counselor (which is getting expensive to maintain). I'm aching to talk to someone about all of this (when I'm not on a ticking clock having to pay)... but OTOH, I don't want to say anything to any friend or family because I'm afraid it will make the situation worse. I really want to move on from this to a happy marriage, and I'm afraid if anyone knows it will shame her and jeopardize any future we might have together.

Yet, I'm aching so bad and friends can sense something is not right. And I've tried to blow it off as work stress or sleep issues or other things without hinting that my marriage is on the rocks. That's why I'm turning to this forum for some free anonymous guidance. All of this and how to handle it is all so new to me. Thanks.