I know what you meant by every situation is different. Most of us who have posted here for years have seen every situation imaginable. The main principles of Dr Harley's plan still apply to all of them.

In your situation, there is nothing that would lead us to tell you not to expose. In fact, I think it is one of the only chances you have. When a person is engaged in an affair, they are in an 'affair fog' mentally. The addiction of the affair takes over their mental state, they can no longer think rationally. Exposure works to wake them up from the fog. It also garners support for you, and support for your marriage as you try to rebuild, and keeps WW accountable making continuing the affair next to impossible.

I think it is very sad that as a Christian minister you think you have to pretend your life is better than it is and NOT ask for help from your Christian family. To me that is not holding yourself to a higher standard, but the opposite.