I am engaged to a divorced gentleman who was in a marriage for 20 years where his wife didn't care who he had social relationships with. He had several close female friends, including an old girlfriend who lives out of state. His wife traveled frequently, and he would dine with these married women and their children while their husbands traveled. He claims that there was never infidelity -- and I choose to believe this. However, my previous marriage of 16 years was quite different. My ex-husband and I had a different arrangement. We didn't socialize with members of the opposite sex unless it was in a couple's atmosphere. My fiancee doesn't understand my discomfort with his view on the subject and it's created great stress in our relationship. A few months ago, he agreed that it was the best thing for us if he would refrain from having female confidants in the future. A few weeks ago, I was helping him move to a new house when I found a Christmas card with photographs from his old girlfriend out of state. I felt hurt that he hadn't told me about it, as we've been dating for four years and I thought we had open communication. When I asked if he had spoken to her since the letter in December, he emphatically said, "no". I felt he was lying, so I looked in his phone records and found that he had made a 40 minute call to her on Christmas Eve. I asked him specifically if he had spoken with her on Christmas Eve, he said,"absolutely not". He was angry when he found out that I had looked in his file, but then lied again about another conversation with her two weeks later. I suggested that we end the relationship if he couldn't be honest with me. He apologized and agreed that even though his conversations with her were only a couple of times per year, it wasn't a healthy thing for us. He called her and explained that I was upset and not to call anymore -- she was very upset. Now he's angry with me because he thinks that I'm trying to change him and force him to stop exercising his "innocent love for humankind." Help!! Is this normal?? This woman has been a family friend for 30 years, but I don't understand why she has to be his private friend when she is happily married and he is in a very loving relationship. Please advise... am I just a jealous, negative person as he believes??