Baloe, it's going to take time. I know that sucks and you will absolutely come to hate that phrase. I have no absolute answers. No one does. You are in a situation much like mine seven months ago. H had been having an e-mail A which turned into a week long PA when the OW was staying at our house! He was so eaten with guilt that it didn't take me long to start checking his e-mail where I came upon a very short but brief e-mail from him to her which left me no doubt what was going on. The words will be imprinted on my brain until the day I die. I then received a very long and detailed letter from the OW with a bunch of crap about how she and my H were soulmates and the reason her own marriage wasn't making it was because her H wasn't more like my H.<P>Now, about the sex. I slept in a guest room for a few nights until he promised to break off contact with the OW. Since we had sex shortly before my discovering the A, I sort of figured, if he could do it without love, well dog gone it, so could I. I used to think sex was about love and intimacy, but then I grew cynical and realized that if it was there wouldn't be fifty million people having casual sex in the world. So, I geared up and said to myself, I can be better than she is. I asked him what she did that I didn't do and from that moment on I now do all of those things. I rarely if ever say no. I practically chase him down. He actually got tired of me wanting sex all the time. I think he really got tired of me wanting to be better than OW, but hey, what should he expect when my self-esteem gets shot to h***? I guess the point is, if the sex is something he needs, and you really want to make the marriage work, you may just have to jump in there with both feet. <P>Since d-day, I have never not thought about the OW during sex or shortly thereafter. I am hoping that in time, that will no longer be the case. My H says he never thinks of her when having sex with me. I do not know when he does think about her, or how often, or if they are good or bad, but your H may be the same way. I think though, that the longer you wait to have sex, the harder it may be for you. A week is soon, to be sure, but don't wait too long. This may be cynical, but every moment you wait gives him a chance to remember sex with the OW, and perhaps yearn for it if he is not getting it from you. It's a man's number one need, remember? I've set about trying to erase my H's mind of that as much as possible. You may want to give that some thought.<P>Do be careful though about using protection until your H is checked for STD's. By the time I learned about the A, it was too late for me to take precautions. <P>Good luck to you. You have a long road ahead of you. You are in a good situation though that your H seems to be willing to be open with you. I don't know how you learned about the A, but on the bright side, it seems to be only a one time thing. With a lot of work on your marriage, you should be able to pull through this.