Well hello to all. I must first tell you this forum has helped me immensely. I recently was told by my ws that she had an affair with om, who was a friend of the family, her boss and a coach to our children. The news numbed me. She said that she had broken off A over a year ago,and that it had run off and on since late 97.
Crushed couldn't describe my feelings. I knew when she called me from the police dept., were she was being interviewed, as OM had done some illegal things with money at work, and had gotten her involved, that the change in circumstances she stated meant one thing to me, she had an A.
When she came home , she admitted to helping him, and also having an affair with him. OM is eight years younger. H ehad access to her at work, and when he started presuring her, she couldn't tell me. H eis very persuasive, and worked her hard. She relented and gave in. When she would want to stop, he would pull her back in.<p>Meanwhile, I am working hard to do what I hought was all the right things for her and the kids, only to find I really missed the boat. I never questioned her, and had blind trust in her. This situation just blew me away. The beat thing was , the OM was married at first, and then dated another woman at the same time A was going on. My WS was in such a fog, she did not see what was happening to her. I was furious when I connected this all together,and confronted her with how she could be so stupid ? She had no real response. I guess after looking at it all, we , M for 20 years, he eight years younger, with daily access, things fell into place for failure.
I called my company's EAP to set up a counseling session immediately, and also set up an appointment for myself to be tested for STD's.
The next few days were tough. No sleep, I couldn't stand the sight of her. She said she would leave if I wanted her to, and begged me not to put her out, that all she wanted was for us to get better. I am thinking us? What the hell was she talking about, she had the A, not me.
I found this site, and read the posts other BS's had endured, and how we can make it.<p>It has been 7 weeks since Dday 3/20/02, and between the MC, this board and the good Dr.'s words, I am recovering, should saw we are.I find strength in this forum, and thank you Dr. for having it to help. <p>God bless