According to statistics adultery and divorce is rapidly on the rise. OF course this is not news to the people posting here. Movie stars have affairs and the media blows it up and then we accept it. A certain movie star had an affair and one of her friends was quoted as saying "People in the midwest may not understand this but..." I am from the midwest and no this is not OK. It should not be a sign of culture to have an affair or turn your back on it. Movies are made that make cheating seem like the right choice they don't show the real pain affairs cause. Look at Katherine Hepburn (I love her as an actress and admire her personality) and
Spencer Tracy as an example. Society accepted their affair and living together as a couple---sorry this was wrong. We have become silent when confronting immorality. We say it is none of our business and turn a blind eye to it. What has our silence achieved? Evil grows where it is allowed to take root.
Divorce is breaking down our society. Too many children are growing up unsupervised because one parent is trying so hard to make ends meet. I am not bashing single parents (I praise them) but parenting is a job for two. Let me say also that children should not be raised in a tension-filled and/or violent household. We adults need to act like adults and be determined to work out our probelms. Let's face it, it is too easy to get a divorce. Maybe we need relationship classes in schools or be required to take them before marriage. Think about what children are learning about relationships in their own homes and they take these bad habits into their marriages. A nasty circle that we have to find a way to break and fix.

I totally agree. My wife and I have said since we were married "Divorce is not an option". Since her A, I've realized that our "mantra" is not completely true, but saying and believing it for all these years has given us both a fierce determination that if it is an option, it is the very, very last one that we will resort to. The attitude in our society seems to be that it is one of the first options when problems come up.

Baffled:<p>The problem is not that DV is either an option or not. The problem is that too many people think that lying to the one person that trusts them the most in life IS not only an option, it's acceptible and exciting.<p>I don't want a DV, but I'd rather DV than go through this again.

Hopefullyhealing:<p>I agree with you 100% And divorce has never and still isn't an answer for me. However, I find myself this week talking to a lawyer because my WH says he cannot stand any more arguing, accusations, that I should just trust him and divorce is the only way I am going to see there is nothing between him and OW any longer. (See separate post for more info.) My statement is if we cannot figure out how to get past this while we're married, it surely isn't going to be better after a divorce. And as you said our three young children are the ones who are taking in all these lessons on relationships and dealing with things in a responsible way. That is the part that is really killing me!

If I remember correctly, the Roman Empire fell primarily due to the breakdown of the family unit. Wonder what their A and D rates were?<p>The impact that a breakdown in family values can have should not be underplayed. The immediate and ongoing effects are great. Lives have been permanently scarred as a result. In some cases the cycle is repeated for totally illogical reasons. <p>For me this shows that the 'driver' behind these types of actions is corrupt. This 'driver' has been around for centuries and manipulates people for his very sick purpose of making mankind's life miserable. There is no good purpose that comes out of this guy. <p>Those who allow themselves to be pawns and used by 'this driver' are doomed to failure because success is not his goal. Failure is. The bad piece is that often these actions touch and hurt the innocent. <p>How to avoid this? We must all protect our soul and spirit. <p>JMHO,
L.

There's nothing that can motivate people more to divorce than the trait of SELFISHNESS!! And what motivates people to have affairs? SELFISHNESS!!<p>"My spouse isn't fulfilling my emotional needs, and I deserve to have them filled, so I'll show them, I'll let some one else fulfill them." <p>Is that not in a nutshell what WSs are saying? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]