i know this may not at first seem like alot, but to me its major.
my husband usually comes home early on wed. nights. he never did during affair. that was their meeting night.
he called yesterday to tell me he was staying late so he could be home on fridays to see sons t-ball game. i didnt say anything because i dont think he even realized this would be a trigger for me. well i got through it and it wasnt that bad. a few times i thought about it and a few extra phone calls and the night was over. i got through it! not nervous, or anxious or anything. i think this is real progress for me.<p>now i have to get through today and the expectations i have for our 10 yrs together today. i gave husband his card and gift this morning, i havent heard from him or got flowers or anything yet. im sure he'll go out and do something before he gets home.<p>anyway i had a great night and im sure ill have a great weekend...

Good job!!<p>I am at a potential trigger point myself. My wife went to get her haircut tonight while I am watching the kids. The place she gets her haircut is not even a mile from the OM's office. This would not be a big thing if she had not said she was going to get coffee down the road by herself. (She tells me this because she knows I spy on her mileage, what she does not know is that I stopped this over a week ago because it was killing me). I thought to myself, "Yeah right, by youself my foot". I know they are going to meet. I did not say anyting, and I know she will be home real late. I am going to bite my tongue on this one, I am not going to call her, and I am going to pretend like nothing happened.<p>Wish me luck.<p>I hope I can find the strength like you did.

I have had a trigger fade for me. Used to every time I met a car similar to hers, especially in color, it would really bother me. Lately I don't even notice them. OK, maybe occassionally, but not much. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>At least we know the potential is there for things to get easier for us when we notice these triggers not setting us off quite like they used to. Of course, like all of you, I've got many many more to get over!! [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]

dear dreamland-so sorry for what you are going through. im sending you hugs and strength. i think you are doing the right thing. no lb's. hang in there.<p>jamup-i too have had other triggers fade, but i knew this would be a biggie for me. i did well.
thanks for all the support.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by nikko:
<strong>... i didnt say anything because i dont think he even realized this would be a trigger for me. </strong><hr></blockquote><p>Learn to communicate with H ... H shows he is very dumb in R plus H doesn't have magic ball to read your mind. Find what work for H & you ... You did a great job but at somepoint you have to make a move otherwise you will get frustrated and H withdraws a lot of $$$ from LB$ w/o even knowing. Trained us, martians, like a dog ... hey, boy come here ... good boy, good boy ... give reward w/ heavy petting that this dog like it a lot. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] w/ no LB, let martian knows, if martians do it ... give them a treat [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]