So over the last two weeks my wife after being gone for five weeks in which she moved in with her new boyfriend, has been in the city me and the five kids are living in. She has within the last week asked me for a divorce, indicated she has not loved me for years, let me know that life with me/kids together would mean she would live a life in which she would not be happy ever, adn told me she is going back to the town her new beau is in to spend some more time there. Fog or not all this just drives the knife in deeper, and makes the decision in my life more obvious. I told her I would not file for divorce, that she had to, and I would make my decisions in life based on how she acted over the next few months. Now my problem, I am caught between having the kids buy her something for mothers day before she leaves them for another duration, and not getting her anything. I can keep my anger out to a certain point, but with the choices and the pain she has caused the kids and me, I feel buying her somehting may give her the idea that what she is doing is acceptable, as she still gets gifts and things. As far as I'm concerned she might not even notice if none of the kids gave her anything, isn't mothers day suppose to be to recognize mothers that give so much of their life to raising their children? Anybody got any ideas.

Why not buy her something practical. A harley book for example

Buy a gift from the kids if you normally would. Leave them out of it, it IS their mom. Let them show them they love her because it's not their fault.

I understand your feelings, but no matter who your child's parent is, you are hurting your child if you do not do everything you can to encourage them to have a healthy relationship with their other parent. I even helped my children to acknowledge their father on Father's Day long after my divorce and remarriage. Who else did they have to help them with it?<p>It is about them, not her. She may not be the greatest of mothers right now, but she is THEIR mother, and that's all that matters to the kids. As someone wise once told me, carrying a child for nine months, going through 18 hours of labor, and having your body stretched all out of shape to give life to your child is more than enough to be recognized on Mother's Day. I encourage you to do what you would do if everything was "normal", at least for the kids' part of it.

Hi Lost in space!
I'd probably go get a beautiful picture taken of the kids and just have them write her something for mothers day.
I couldn't think of a better gift...... [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]
hugs
BB

Thanks for the input, I will get her somehting from the kids. They need continue to have contact with there mother. Maybee someday she will know the pain she caused them. It just sucks to feel the way we do, and to see her in a state that is completely oblivious to us.

Please try not to get in between your children and their mother. My MIL did that to my H. and he has never gotten over it, his dad died when he was 11 and she would not even take him to the funeral. And kept him away from all his relatives on that side of the family. It was very traumatic and part of the problems he has never faced that he has always had. I know it may be hard but keep trying, she may someday look back and realize you were doing everything you could to keep your family together, and at least have appreciation for that. DBD