Went to see the movie, "Unfaithful", last night. Anybody see it and have any thoughts about it? <p>In some ways it hit close to home for me but I was a little disappointed in that it was a little too far fetched...but I guess they need to do that to give it drama and sell tickets.<p>I'm hoping my WW and the OM see it too but I don't think it would have any effect on her or make her feel bad with what she's doing to me and the kids.

I was disapointed, it could have more drama than glorifed sex. Also, Richard G is too perfect of H there is no flaw in M ... I guess the director wants to show that A could happen even in a fullfilling ENs. The reconciliation part is very cold & short, there is no finding on what went wrong ... The only part that I like is when Diana Lane burned the pictures and a flash back fantasy of what if she walked away and got a taxi ...<p>It is ok movie but don't see it if you are in the big mess right now. Also I would not spend $9.50, wait until is out on video. I could not wait for SW episode 2 ...<p>-RH-

Redhat,
9.50 for a movie? That really shows that I have not been out in a long time... the 9.50 could not be worth it, but then affairs usually are not either! [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]

Lady, that is not counting the parking, a coke, a large popcorn, a candy and ... a box of tissue [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] . Probably I should live somewhere else other than No. CA. -RH-

I saw it and from my POV... What really stood out to me was the hatred the MM spent on the OM was as permanently damaging as the adultery the W spent! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

I saw it yesterday afternoon by myself and I found it very interesting that when the H had solid proof of his wife's A that he kept that to himself and didnt tell her he knew. I never could have done that!Overall I really liked the movie- I thought Gere did a good job of showing the complexity of emotions a BS feels. And he still loved his wife and wanted her despite the anger and betrayal. lifeismessy

Saw it, don't want to say too much because I have a review to write.<p>S
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Typical Adrian Lyne prettily photographed rape sex with lots of sledgehammer symbolism (LOVED that thrusting weathervane at the beginning).<p>Olivier Martinez is as unclean and disgusting here as he was in THE CHAMBERMAID ON THE TITANIC. Do women actually fall for this s**t?<p>And there was ZERO context for this to happen. That character may fall into something with someone she works with on the charity auction; I don't think she would chase down a stranger.<p>HOWEVER...<p>By the end of the film, the moral relativism of this couple saying grace over a Thanksgiving turkey dinner juxtaposed over the carpet-wrapped corpse in the garbage dump, well, yeah, the guy was an id-dominated kid who used his Euro charm to the hilt, but I for one felt sorry for him.<p>[ May 13, 2002: Message edited by: Dazed and Confused ]</p>

Well, I only paid $7.50, what a bargain! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] I thought the movie could almost be a fable for some of the MB principles. We see:

• An OP who doesn't care about the family, has a wife (separated), has another girlfriend. You can feel sorry for him, but only because he's such a kid.
• Consequences can't always be undone.
• Innocent parties will be hurt - the son.
• It doesn't have to be caused by anything the BS did, maybe it's just MLC or "boredom".
• WS thinks nobody knows, BS knows almost right away.
• An affair is always a deliberate choice - they really hammered on that point.
• Rarely a good idea for BS to meet OP, and absolutely not without some planning.
• No, they didn't communicate well. WW was trying to hide something, and BH was not able to trust her. How does that foster communication?

Actually I was expecting worse from the movie. I went because of a review; I wanted to see what Richard Gere did. I think the movie does not support or glamorize infidelity at all.<p>Who thinks he probably went to the police station at the end? I mean, running to Mexico was not so easy. Picture the next time those 2 detectives show up, and the Sumners are having a yard sale with a realtor's sign also in the front yard...<p>- Tom

... one more that struck me:

• Yes, the WW and OM do talk about BH, and it's a twisted version.

tmmx, I thought that the OM's "wife and family" were just thrown in there to provide someone to report the guy missing. The character was so obviously not married, that the line where him having a family is mentioned seemed to be a throwaway.<p>BTW, in NONE of the film's press materials or "making of" films or star interviews is this fact ever mentioned, which makes me all the more certain that it's a plot contrivance -- and a pretty lazy one at that -- in the script.<p>In the original French film on which this is based, the straying wife re-finds the passion in her marriage as a function of the husband's passion in killing the lover -- a pretty sick and twisted development, and one that makes a lot more sense than what we saw here.

Actually I meant he didn't care about Connie's husband and son, apparent in the way he answered Gere's questions. I think that's a good point because some people think they can reason with an OP. But the OP doesn't care. There was no possible good to come from Gere meeting the OP. It seems to work for a few people (inc. Redhat) but I'm glad I never tried to meet an OP.<p>We did see OP's other girlfriend, which really makes the point about his honesty. I agree that his separated wife is probably a last-minute detail, and I must have missed the mention that he had kids of his own.<p>I did not see the original version, but it sounds like this one has a better ending. Is a quick recovery realistic? They're going to figure out all their problems right away? In this ending, the consequences are still sinking in and may never be resolved. I think that's more believable.<p>- Tom

Hello: I saw the movie with my WS. He kept asking me if I was okay during certain parts of the movie. Like I told him when Richard Gere saw the pictures, "He wants to throw up now."lol. I thought it was a really good movie. Yes I have felt like killing both WS and OW. ha!!

shamelessly bumping ^^^ - sorry djw.

I'm the WS (I had a 2 year EA), I saw the movie with my H. I thought that the movie was very good and very disturbing. This beautiful woman has a wonderful life with a gorgeous H, nice son. Her H adores her...etc. It showed me just how selfish and selfcentered us WSs can be. The WW totally screwed up her H's life, for a ***k. It just left me feeling that I was so glad my EA didn't become a PA, and how selfish I was, and how I better never look at another man ever again, and I better make my H's life such that he never looks at another woman. What people will do bc they feel negelected is Unreal.<p>I think it's a very good movie to see...it illustrates just how easy it is for things to get out of control and go the wrong way.

I saw it last night and I must say that I was impressed that it was not the usual Hollywood fare where one spouse is made out to be the villain that justified the other spouses's A.<p>I was also impressed with a scene in which a woman friend of the main female character, sadly acknowledges a past A and tells her and another woman(who said that she would love to have an A with the OM in the movie) that there was nothing good that came about it and that if there was something she could undo in her life, it would be her A.<p>The movie also shows why it is almost always a bad idea for a BS to contact the OP.<p>The only complaint I had with the movie is it's ending [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Joe<p>[ May 19, 2002: Message edited by: TooMuchCoffeeMan ]</p>

I came here hoping to see that someone had posted something on this movie. You would all be proud of me-I went to see this movie all by my little ole lonesome self. I didn't ask H if he wanted to go as I knew if he even said yes the real answer would be no-so why make him feel bad eh? But I wanted to see it-so I went and sent H and son to see SpiderMan-LOL<p>Frankly, I was disappointed!!! I thought it was far from ordinary-so to speak. Don't want to say too much for those who haven't seen it yet and might be wanting to but anyone who did see it knows what I am referring to. Just how often does an A actually go like this one did?<p>Want to hear a funny? When he was saying he felt sick, he felt really sick, and the room was spinning-I CLOSED MY EYES SO AS TO NOT SEE HIM PUKE-and I missed what he actually did [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>All in all-I felt like I wasted a measly $6.75. But I don't feel so bad after seeing what some of you spent [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I still like Hope Floats best of all!!<p>JMHO<p>[ May 20, 2002: Message edited by: heartache ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by TooMuchCoffeeMan:
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The only complaint I had with the movie is it's ending [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Joe<p></strong><hr></blockquote><p>I havent' seen it yet buyt I did hear that after some test runs they cahnged the ending. There was actually another scene that was cut from the end. So the current ending was originally the next to last scene. I saw one critic complain that the movie seemed "unfinished" and read a review by another who saw the original cut and liked the new ending better.

I just remembered something that I forgot to mention about this movie.<p>When Richard Gere's character confronts the OM, and OM accidental slip of the tongue lets him know some things his wife said about him, there was actual laughter from some of the movie audience, mostly the women [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] , but all that stopped as soon as Gere's character attacks the OM severely. I found this lack of empathy extremely disturbing [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] and I thought to myself that one day they too will probably feel the pain of infidelity and I wonder how they will feel if somebody laughs at their suffering.<p>Joe

I saw this movie two weekends ago, and had mixed feelings about it. It's interesting as I read other posts on this thread how many went to see it alone--as did I.<p>From the perspective of a WW (me), there were some things that didn't make sense. I saw no motivation for the Connie's character to have an affair. Her husband seemed like a great guy, and in fact, they seemed to have a good relationship. <p>However, as others have said, affairs are sometimes motivated out of pure lust. This is an ugly fact of life, and although we often attribute sex-driven affairs to men, women can have them, too. There are few things in life as powerful as a new erotic attraction. And this is especially true when we are feeling distant or unconnected to our spouses, and/or sex has become ho-hum.<p>I found it odd that Connie gave a snow globe to her lover which had been a gift to her from her husband. I couldn't imagine doing this, unless I really hated my H. Connie clearly still cared about her husband, so that action seemed weird to me. Must have been the fog...<p>Very thoughtprovoking film, however, with many truths about how affairs come about and are conducted. For couples far enough into recovery,it could be a good discussion catalyst.<p>Afterthought...this just occured to me...if Connie and her husband were as happy as the film seemed to portray, why did he never ask his wife outright if she was having an affair? He had her followed without ever asking her directly. Interesting...<p>Calla

Hi Calla - about asking her directly, the problem is that on most of the questions he did ask, she lied. So he needed the proof first.<p>Even after he killed OM, he asked W if they should move back to the city. She says no, it's great where they are. But was she lying right then, was she lying earlier to OM, was she lying when they originally moved, or is she just lying all the time? He tries to figure it out with no help from her. It's easy to identify with that quandary - not knowing where you stand or what to trust.<p>- Tom