Well it's finally happened! my H has left & I leave here on Tuesday so not a good day for me 2day.
I tried soooooo hard not to cry when he hugged me & he said lets not hold any grudges eh it just cracked me up.
So now it's on to plan B don't know what will happen from here I will be without a computer from tommorow but will try & keep you updated as & when i can. H is not interested just doesn't want to be miserable for the rest of his life! I hope he's not because he has certainly made me miserable.

Dear Wrungout-
(((((((((hug)))))))).
Sorry for you - have been watching your thread. Always a chance your H will alter his perceptions of things once he experiences life without you. His expectations aren't necessarily going to be fulfilled - try to remember that. You said you were going to your son's for awhile. Is there a public library there and do they have Internet access? Or are there any Internet cafes nearby? Two ways to get access to a computer when you don't own one yourself.
I'll pray for you.
Odile

Thanks for your message! Yes I will go to a cyber cafe until i get finances organised so will keep you updated.
Everythings in the lawyers hands now so I don't think his reaction to that will be very good but i am only asking for what is fair, I have to look for the moment that he won't want me back so regarding finances i don't want to feel in a couple of yrs that i didn't get a fair deal!
He said to me yesterday it's not that he want's to be happy for the rest of his life he just doesn't want to be miserable for the rest of his life?? whats the difference??

Also very sorry to see it get to this point. As you have been experinecing so much pain, maybe now you will be able to start to focus on yourself. One person told me that those that feel pain deeply also feel high levels of happiness and joy. If your husband does not feel pain as a result of this he will most likley never feel the level of happiness that you have and will feel again. Overall I would far rather know that in feeling as good as I can sometimes, and as bad as I can sometimes, I would not trade that for not being able to feel joy or pain at any point. This being said he will either fell the pain at some point, or will never experinece the same type of happiness you will. Good luck and talk to you latter.

Wrungout,
I am very sorry for you. After a prety tough weekend myself, I am very sensitive, and your post made me drop a few tears on the keyboard.<p>I agree with you about going after what is fair with your attourney.<p>If you are starting Plan B, do you have a clear picture as to how long or when you will end Plan B? If you have not already, please try to set a boundary on this one. I do hope that you can work everything out with your H, but if you do not when will enough be enough? I have not figured this out for myself yet either. I hope I never have to go to Plan B, but I have no idea what my own limits will be with Plan B and any of your thoughts would be beneficial to all of us.

wrungout,<p>{{{{{hugs}}}}}<p>I know this is hard. Take it slowly.

Hi guys! Well here I am in a strange town & it sucks BIG TIME!! I feel as though too much a\has happened at once here & really need to be back where i feel safe so i will give it a few weeks & see what happens.
Haven't set a time limit for plan B when my credit card arrives i hope to get some counseling with the Harleys to help guide me through this so will keep ya posted on that one. Am on a borrowed computer 2day so my messages may be few & far between.
In the meentime thanks sooooooo much for all your support I think of ya all heaps! Well until next time. Cheers!

Hang in there wrungout, if you take care of yourself and lookout for yourself things will get better.

Glad to hear from you -hang in there. People here are watching for your posts - hope you can get some support counselling soon.<p>Odile

Hi there just a wee note to let you know that i a, still on the planet!
Well everything is now sorted & at the Lawyers office so just waiting for him to give me a final copy to sign if I am happy with it...
Hadn't heard from H for 2 weeks (as I asked him for no contact unless there was an emergency) but he did ring our sons where i am staying & he must have asked how i was cause our son said what old lady? she is ok. No more contact until our son (thankfully) phoned him up about the settlement of property & explained a few things to his dad about why i was unhappy with what he wanted me to have so our son worked out a fair deal & came back to us both & his dad agreed said he had been thinking he should have given me something for the extra business we had together, next contact was a few days ago H rang me to ask if i was happy with this we went over it on the phone & had a nice chat I told him all the exciting things i have been doing. Didn't let him know i was unhappy just said i wouldnt live in this area.
Anyway he said he would ring me back that night with the final valuations on stuff & would i type it out & fax it to him as he has no access to a computer at the moment, I said i would, H didn't phone back that nite so i thought well i'm not going to phone him. Next morning there was atext message for me with the values, in fact he sent me a couple of text messages (this is a guy that normally ignored me if i asked him something by text b4 i left but this time it was him that needed to get info to me.
Anyway i faxed him the stuff & said i would get it to my lawyer. This morning he sent me a text asking if i had faxed the info to my lawyer, now he didnt need to do that as i had already told him i would. So i just sent a reply back that said yip! & that was it, normally i would have added on the text was there a problem but i have learnt to keep my mouth shut now if there was a problem i would obviously have heard from him by now.
Well thats about it really I'm heading back down the coast this weekend there is a big weekend on & i'm staying with my friend & going pubbing & to a dance not sure how i should act / react!! as we r bound to run into one another & the group he will b with i hes there are my friends also so will have to say something any suggestions>>>
Ok Must dash am staying at a friends with a puter 2nite so will check in again 2morrow!!! Great to catch up with ya all... Take care now