And this is also something to consider when you find yourself on the receiving end of the betrayal:<p>If rebuilding the M is the goal for the WS, the WORST thing they can do is have continued contact and/or to keep lying. If my M ends, it will be because of the continued deception and disrespect AFTER D-day, not the deception BEFORE D-day. Far more damage was done to the M after my H confessed his A and asked for forgiveness, when like a dog going back to his vomit, he went back to the behaviors he was committing before. MUCH more disgusting to see someone continue wrongdoing AFTER they've acknowledged how wrong it is.<p>So, from the standpoint of marital recovery, continued contact is NEVER to the benefit of the M, the BS, or the WS who truly wants his M to recover. The WS who continues contact is using and abusing both the BS and the OW, and that is never good for anyone or for any R.<p>And, as I said in my first post, even in legitimate relationships, as in the ones I broke off, emotions are very much involved. I was in love, but I knew the R would never work, so it was a very painful thing to do to let go of someone I still wanted and needed, but I knew that continuing to use them for my own gratification when I truly was not committed to them was not right, so it was better for both of us to end it quickly and cleanly and stand firm on no more contact. It shortens the withdrawal period, thereby reducing the duration of the pain.<p>It is never a good idea to leave a wound open and prolong the agony.