Tell you a little about me. I had gotten married when I was 17 he was 23. Started our family young. We got divorced after our second son.We had been together 3 years. We got back together a year later, never remarried and had 2 more children. Our lives were in a rut. Communication was a big thing. I couldn't. Plus I had some other medical problems. After 10 years I left, moved out, was confused went back a few weeks later, still had my own place..it took me 2 months to open up to him. I thought we were working things out. He was hurt, so was I. He went and found someone else. I got ahold of her after my ex had somewhat moved in with her and told her(she was still married, but separated) my feelings for him and that I wanted to work things out with him. She said that she would not kick him out it was his choice to leave. That was a year ago. In Nov of last year he was down visiting and our youngest son was seriously injured in an accident. He stayed at the hospital with me for 2 months and would go see her occasionally. She lived 15 miles away. We got intimate again and it was going on for 5 months. Him playing both sides of the fence. I kept telling him and I couldn't handle that anymore. He said let it play out so I did for a few months. This last Sat. he was going to her place again. He had been staying at my place. I had enough, he wanted me to play it out some more. Well I called her and told her what was going on. She agreed to meet with me at the location she chose. I drove 1 and a half hours to meet her and she didn't stop..She beelined it for where he was at. When I got back down here..He said he was going with her. She was right there. I could tell that he really didn't want to leave and was confused. But she is controlling and he left with her. Everyone in his family doesn't like her...his kids don't care for her. I know that he is resenting what I did and is hurt. What was I supposed to do? It had to end. He wanted her to call off the relationship. He needed a backbone. Which she had someone, someone else wanted and wasn't gonna let go for any reason, even though she is still married. He misses the family life down here... she has 5 kids. They live 4 hours away. I don't know what do. I still love and care for him very much. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

I'm sorry you're in this situation, but you can find help here.<p>The issues are between you and your H. I don't think it's productive to have any interaction with the OW because that just let's your H off the hook and he gets the extra thrill of watching two women fighting over him.<p>Have you followed any plan? Have you read up on Plan A/Plan B? The best place to start is with the Concepts link at the top of this page. Then go to the Q&A columns and read the series of articles "How to Survive Infidelity". That will give you the basics. There is an article about Plan A/Plan B as well. And the book Surviving An Affair has everything you need to know with a step-by-step plan.<p>Your best course of action is to decide on a plan for yourself to keep you anchored while you go through all the emotions involved.<p>I hope your injured child is doing better. Hospital stays are very stressful for all of you. Once you have a plan, it will help you feel better because you are able to do something to help yourself.