Hi peoples,<p>WH is in the middle (I think). Trying somewhat, but still not all the way here. Still has contact w/OW. But he does make sure he is at home on weekends. Hes not saying what he wants and Im not asking. I havent been talking about the A or our M. Just trying to get along and do a good plan A. I really have no idea what his plans are. He may just be trying to be nice so when he comes at me with a DV I wont get ulgy? Or he maybe really trying . All I know is, he is here. Hes trying to be nice. Hes not showing affection or acting like he used to(when things were good). What I would like to know is, what can I do on my part to help my plan A. Any suggestions on how to work it? As far as my self, Im totaly taking care of my self, getting better everyday. Feeling good about my self. And moving forward.<p>Just want some good tips on Plan A. Please.<p>Thanks,
PI

PI:<p>It sounds like you're doing well enough for yourself. But it also sounds like you definitely need more information from your H as to where he is in relation to your M. You certainly have every right to ask him questions about his A. It's natural for him not to want to tell you about it, too. You'll find, as you progress in your plan A, that it will be easier to determine when you are annoying your H with your questions, and then you can back off for a while. But you definitely need to communicate with him about what the future holds. It would be very cruel of him to be "nice" to you while he plans a DV to spring on you as a surprise. I'm betting, that as you progress with plan A and you gradually broach sensitive subjects with him to get deep conversations going eventually, that you'll be able to tell what he's doing, even if he doesn't tell you everything.<p>Hope this helps.

I think the best thing you can do as part of your Plan A is to recapture the person you were when you first met him and attracted him to you in the first place. Every time you're in contact with him, keep that part of you at the forefront. It may take some time to reconnect with that part of yourself, but once you have, you'll be so glad to have that part of you back. Spend some time remembering those early days of your R and how you looked, smelled, sounded, acted, and resurrect that. Clothe yourself in that tone and attitude. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

Thanks for that advise guys. It sounds good. As far as me talking about our M, I think it is a good idea to wait a little while. I do ask little questions here and there. But not with too much depth. To my WH that is a love buster, right now. I think he knows whats best but he is confused. Im not going to try to read him too much right now. It will only make me go insane. He is taking some steps forward. Not for us, but for himself. He talked with the priest from our church yesterday and made a second appointment. I asked how it went. He didnt want to talk about it...so I didnt push.<p>Just really trying to be his friend right now. Let him feel what he has at home. What he couldnt have with her. I do have access to whats going on between my WH and OW. So im useing that as a tool. I found out she has a *itchy side to her. YEAY!!! Thank God! For a minute I thought she was a saint. So that should help me. Now Im not the *itchy one.<p>I am trying to go back to my old self...actually a better, new me. My H once told me he didnt want things the way they used to be, he wanted them better. We have major communication issues. <p>Ive been looking great lately. Ive set some goals for my self and I know that will help. im going to compete in a figure/fitness show in November. Plus a bunch of other plans I have. Things I always wanted to do for my self but put it on the back burner. One thing I always wanted for sooo long, is a boob job. I need one. Cant afford one and cant finance one. REALLY WANT ONE BADLY. H knows I do. And guess who has one? Yep, you guest it..OW! Makes me feel even better. So if anybody has any suggestions on how I can get one, let me know. Can we start a fund?j/k. hee hee.<p>Please give me anymore suggestions on a good Plan A.<p>Thanks,
PI

PI:<p>Sounds like you're doing very well for yourself [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I better not comment much about the desire for a boob job [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] Being a guy, I DO like them (on my W, that is!), but I've noticed that women that have had them very often look "fake." I guess I would hope you don't overdo this, if you have it done. <p>take care