I am new to this site. I am grasping at straws. My husband of 21 years has had an ongoing affair for about a year that started as a friendship. I voiced my concrens early in the friendship and my fears. I was dismissed and at the time, nothing was going on.
Now I am faced with this affair that I my husband told me about in February. Convinced I wanted my marriage, I have unknowingly been using plan A. Some progress was made however, he would not give up this other relationship. For some unknown and jealous reason, I drove past his apartment which he has been renting for 6 weeks but has never spent a night in. She was there. I confronted her and now I am sick that I stooped to their level of deception.
My husband came home and told me he wanted the marriage but still keeps telling me that he cannot give him up. All of our 3 children know. They are so confused by his angry behavior and know who this person is because she has made herself know to them. I can't believe he is so willing to hurt them for her. He vows to move out now that I caught him. I fear he will not be back. I fear I am being a door mat. I really want our marriage.
I'm not sure I can take anymore pain though yesterday was self inflicted.
Help me.

Hang in there. You'll have noticed that most on this forum are in a similar situation and have very valuable advice to offer. Your situation isn't unique - I can recall at least a dozen threads where betrayed wives were in exactly the same situation as you are now.
Don't do anything stupid now, relax, think, take care of yourself and read advice given on this site.

I'm so sorry you're in this position. These OW seem so evil sometimes- they have no compunction about taking a dad from his children. And the WS buy into it. It's incomprehensible. Wishing you strength.
Just remember whatever happens to your M, a relationship built on lies, deception, betrayal and the broken hearts of a wife and children can never flourish. It is based on evil impulses and it will always be tainted.