WOW, my eyes have opened again... and I see how far I have got off MY pURPOSE AND my plan...e tc.. in the last months... since this stupid A....<p>ANyway... I have some new focus on some business goals of mine.. and I am excited about life again! WOW! What a feeling... without him too! That is his problem if he wants to be out there doing whatever he does.... <p>SO, thanks for the support.. I hope I stay here... I am actually home today working on my persona l goals and giving myself a well needed break from my day job... (diff. than my bus. plans)- so I am doing awesome focusing on me..<p>I feel better than when I sit around thinking about what the heck I can do to make him do _____.... doesn't work ,never did.. <p>I read a lot of the divorce busting site yestedrday which helped me quite a bit... and now I am focusing on me<p>
also went to quite a few support session for alanon and other... planning some summer events for ME!, trips, etc. and for my boys...<p>wow.,.. feels so much better.. than focus on whagt he is or isn't doing.. HOney

Feels great, I know [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
Good 4 U!! Keep it up. <p>Was wondering why you didn't get more responses. Most are not where you are now, I guess. It is early in the day and everyone is at work. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] Maybe when they get off.

CHEERS TO YOU!!<p>Have a great day!<p>INTHECLOUDS

thanks in the clouds.. boy I have SOOO MUCH TO DO.. that I have been neglecting for myself.... so tired of that one! ANyway.. happy to have a better sense of where I am going... I have been here before and it feels good again! <p>I felt so horrible that I let my h down... I have beaten myself up... been depressed.. tried to prove and reaso n with him I can be a better wife... all for what... him telling me he is still not sure... and I am still not what he wants... OK< find... do what you will...<p>so I can move on with me... life is out there for the taking even if it is just for us alone!<p>Honey

You sound so much better!! It is hard when you reach this point. For me, I had filled so much of me with misery that when I started to feel better those areas were empty but hungry. I had to fill that space with something, and fast because self doubt is debilitating. <p>Sounds like you are off to a good start with a new business. Stay focused. <p>Have you ever watched Fried Green Tomatos? I love when Kathy Bates starts doing things for her, and is succcessful. Her outlook on life is enriched. We all need a Jessica Tandy to build us up!! TOWANDA!!!!1<p>Hope you have a very productive day!!

Feels GOOD to be rowing your own happiness boat ... doesn't it !!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Pepper [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

I posted to you yesterday on your other thread. Read it if you get a chance. You are consistantly doing GREAT!<p>You have a fulfilling life with or without H and you now know that! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Keep up the good work.

Yay Honey!!!<p>You've inspired me to have a great day... and to row my own happiness boat [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] .

thanks guys... feeling better, and yes... very very nice to realize I can be happy without him.... I too, have filled myself with so much misery...it is hard to remember being the happy me I used to be! I am trying to find that person...<p>as for towanda! I watched that movie a few days ago on cable... satelitte , whatever... and guess what I have those pink cases too! that is my business... ! I went to a great meeting last night... seeing all the other success stories... and saw one girl who bot where I want to be in the time I have been seperated.... since october to now... <p>And I realized LOOK WHAT SHE did with that TIME>.. and LOOK what I did?! I messed up! but I am ok... I allow mysellf to make mistakes... but I am not going to spend the next 7+ months like this again... !Glad to be an inspiration... ! too, that feels great faith1!<p>Honey

Today's thought in my e-mail.... fits right in...<p>Today's thought is:
"One way to become enthusiastic is to look for the
plus sign. To make progress in any difficult
situation, you have to start with what's right about it
and build on that."
--Norman Vincent Peale<p>Beginning our days with a positive mental outlook
is a great depression-chaser. Simply lifting our
heads and looking up and out instead of down will
make us feel better. Although we can't spend all our
time staring at the sky, we can train ourselves to
look for the best in ourselves and others.<p>Even in the middle of difficulty or pain, we have
choices. We can choose a gloom-and-doom attitude
and endlessly replay the thoughts that accompany it.
Or we can step back and find the one good thing.
We may be blinded with pain. The situation may
appear hopeless, utterly bleak. But recovery
guarantees that we are equal to it, that in our pain
there is at least one good thing.<p>We are the masters of our fate. We can change even
the most difficult situations with an attitude of hope
and positive expectation. Approaching each day
with a hopeful heart will give us a different
approach to our troubles.

Honey-<p>All I can say is WOW! You sound great, you have found a new focus and it is helping you take your mind off of the A, WH and all his crap. Be selfish for a while, think only of yourself, do things only for you and no one else. You deserve it!<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I feel better than when I sit around thinking about what the heck I can do to make him do _____.... doesn't work ,never did.. <hr></blockquote> Exactly right, we cant control the WS, actually we cant control anyone, all we can do is control the way we act and react to what they do. But, we can make us the best us's there ever was and show the WS what they are missing out on, show them that they had the best there is.<p>It almost seems like a switch was thrown and things finally are beginning to happen for you. The books, the counseling, the new job opportunity, maybe time was all you needed in order for all of this to come together. Go with it , Honey, enjoy this time, you really do deserve it!
[img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

It's really nice to feel good.<p>I'm promising myself to do it at least once a day.

Go Honey, Go Honey, Go Honey!!! It's so nice to hear you more upbeat and taking care of yourself. I've been following your threads and you've come a long way. I'm proud of you.

thanks everyone... still doing great.. had a great night... my son won his frist play off... game for baseball... his team is #1 in the league... ! <p>exciting game with lots of teamwork... wow! we did tons of yelling, as it was close.. but we pulled through... ! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>My h even was rude to me... today and I just ignored it, and no relationship talk from me... soon he will have to be wondering what is giong on???? honey

Honey Honey HONEY! Girl that is great!<p>I am so glad for you.<p>Keep up the good work.<p>Love,
Clear [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Honey -- you have really turned a corner! And it is SO GREAT to read your posts now!<p>I'm excited for you!

thanks still doing good and feeling better... trying sooo hard to stick to plan a with loving distance... db strategy... I am missing H... but if he does not miss or want me... well then... what more can I do? I still wonder why I freaked... and get a little nervous.. anxiety or angry even... but I am doing better.... <p>this week:<p>
1. went to stress man. seminar today... wow!
2. got nails done.
3. went shopping and bought me clothes...
4. took a day off... (I am a little sick... )
5. let ws keep little one... my mom is out of town... reg. childcare.. so he is helping.. with 3 yr old... I miss my babyl... but this is helping my week.
6. worked my pt business for me!
7.had fun with older son.l... talked to him more! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] really good... we have been winging it alone for 2 nights... !
8. went to older sons awesome bball game!
9. making weekend plans..
10. making plans for retreat for codependent women...
11. going to do relaxation techniques.
12. learned relax. and stress man. tech. at seminar! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>gotta work... bye honey