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say nothing?
#1001890 05/15/02 09:58 AM
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Roseyhue Offline OP
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I recently discovered my H had/has [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] an ad on yahoo personals. I don't know what was said on it because I only found out because someone responded to it. <p>We were separated with no contact from Jan. to mid March. Do you think I should just let it go and assume it was placed then and he forgot about it or has since deleted it? Why has the girl just responded to it now then? I deleted her response which was through off line chat message. What would you do?<p>[ May 15, 2002: Message edited by: roseyhue37 ]</p>
Re: say nothing?
#1001891 05/15/02 11:14 AM
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Roseyhue Offline OP
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Help?
Re: say nothing?
#1001892 05/15/02 11:31 AM
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I LuvNprotect ME Offline
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First gather all the facts. Find the ad and see if you can tell when it was opened.<p>Then confront your H with love. Say I found this ad that you posted on (date) and someone replied yesterday which I deleted. Why did you post the ad?<p>Maybe you two need to do another EN Questionnaire and go back over the MB principles. <p>It is a huge warning flag for you and you should
never push things under the rug and not say anything. Nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand. How is your relationship these days? Are the two of you connected emotionally?
Re: say nothing?
#1001893 05/16/02 12:21 AM
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Roseyhue Offline OP
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I LuvNprotect ME,<p>Thanks so much for responding. This was really eating at me. Everything has been going so well with us lately. He's expressing his feelings more and opening up in ways he never has. We just started counselling together and we both clicked with him which is great.<p>I can't find the ad. It says he has no ads in that particular yahoo name the girl responded to, so I suppose that's a good sign. If I say something now, I may never know for sure because he doesn't know I have his password.<p>He didn't do the EN questionare. I've continually brought up the subject and he insists I meet all his needs, which of course isn't likely. Perhaps I could make a more formal request for him to fill it out at the counsellors?
Re: say nothing?
#1001894 05/16/02 12:53 AM
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mom of five Offline
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ok I will share something I did and will probably take some heat for.
My husband was so busy meeting and greeting women on the net and had one of those adds as well, I figured out all the passwords went in and changed all his adds to make him the most undesirable man on the face of the earth. <p> Tacky and dishonest yes, but I did do it.
but it put an end to his time on the computer, he quit touching it to prove he is honest with me now.
Re: say nothing?
#1001895 05/15/02 01:34 PM
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Roseyhue Offline OP
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mom of five,<p>That's kind of funny. There doesn't seem to be an ad to be found, so I'm hoping it's from months ago. He doesn't spend time chatting on the puter anymore, but I know he did during our separation. The other offline message on there was a lady asking where he was and she missed him and hadn't spoke in a long time.

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