In accordance to my last thread my Depression was almost overwhelming...and bringing me to the brinks of despair.<p>After finally getting my H to sit still for a few minutes and listen to me ...overall i think it went rather well.<p>I told him how ever time i learn something new about his A that it takes me back to Dday and drags me down with it. I t old him I would rather learn everything at once that way i only get the Shock Once and then i can repair and attempt to move on.
H still doesnt seem to understand how his actions hurt me.
I told him (and this may be a major LB) that whenever i had a question about his A he should just answer it after all he should be grateful that i actually put myself through this heartache month after month to repair this damage rather than say screw it all and kick him to the curb. ( i didnt say it in those exact words but thats my meaning)
I also told him that all that has happened in our marriage has taken its toll on me and that i loved him but i wasnt in love with him like when we married.
with this he got real upset and walked away and refused to talk to me for about an hour.
i proceeded to tell him ( while i recieved the silent treatment) that i didnt like the way our marraige was going and how much resentment i still had towards him for what he did to me..... i explained to him what i needed form him and went on to describe basic concepts and Love banks and busters and deposits.
this has recently been an issue for me because H has this problem of when things arent "just the way he wants it" in his every day life he will take his anger out on me... example... our daughter was being loud and woke him up and it was my fault for not keeping her quiet..... shes 2 how easy does he expect this task to be?.. it also annoys me that H will not let me work 1 night a week and make some extra money. Money is extremely tight and i could make 100 in a night if he would let me work on saturday nights and watch the kids.
H really didnt have anything to say to me wanting to work.<p>however after our initial talk i got to ask a few questions about the A... He still insists they never slept together, i have to take this at face value for what it is worth i guess becuase i still dont believe him. and once again i asked the question what was wrong in our marriage at the time.<p>his usual reply would be that he was unhappy with our living arrangements and his job etc.....<p>last night he told me NOTHING was wrong in our marraige he was content and very happy with life at the time and that he only used fake problems as an excuse to me for what he did.....he said he didnt have an excuse and he was just ignorant and played the knight to the damsel in distress... (OW having her own Serious marriage probs)
So what do i make of this?..... does this mean that no matter how hard i try.. the next time some OW needs rescuing hes going to go running?<p>I asked him this his reply was to hold his hand in front of me and show me his wedding band. he said ," This will Stop me". at the same time i am thinking that this never stopped him before ..but i didnt voice my concerns.<p>I went on to say that i was going to go to an IC and reccomended that he do the same. He says he doesnt need council [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]
i told him to just think about it and if he was ever to go to MC all he had to do was say so but that i wouldnt force him to go or ask him again.<p>
I guess overall this is a step in the right direction ZI feel better now that i got everything out in the open and hope that H and I can work together to improve on US.<p>Thanx all for listening
