My WW is planning a trip for us (with the boys) to Hawaii this summer. My feeling is that if she doesn't go no contact by then, we won't even be living together, much less vacationing together. LB if I tell her this? Lots of stuff is non-refundable, so I'm not sure what to do.

Baffled,
How strong are you to spend a vacation with her while she is still having an A? It would be a perfect opportunity to show her what a mistake she has made, but that means a strong Plan A and absolutely no LBing.
I'd go for it, but I also wouldn't play the role as the "doormat" where you pay for it all...
You could also just take the boys if things fell got really ugly...<p>Sweden

I agree with Sweden, if you can take it, it would be good for her to have fun with you. Like old times. <p>I haven't heard from you in a while. Has anything changed? <p>How are you holding up?

Thanks for the input. I'm sure you guys are right, but this gets really hard, doesn't it? I feel so crappy now, I can't imagine how I'll feel in three months if it is still going on. Not like a vacation with her in Hawaii, I'm thinking...<p>The situation does seem to be getting better. She said last week that she realized that there was "no in-between" as far as contact with OM goes. And then she said that a big part of the reason that she wanted to stay together was because of me. Before, she has always said "for the family". So this was pretty good. Since then, she hasn't wanted to do any R talk, so... My imagination is free to run wild. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] I'm not sure how much she is seeing/talking to OM. It seems a lot less, but it's hard to be sure. <p>One thing that happened that was very irritating was a comment my three year old made. We were driving by a park, and he says: "Oh - that's ------'s park. We went with him there." Grrrr... Love it when she brings the kids along for the ride.

If you keep up a really consistant Plan A and really focus on yourself and the kids, in three months you'll be in quite good shape to vacation together. At least this was the case with me last round. Keep up the work on yourself!
Vacations have the ability to be very positive for a M, because they take you out of your normal environment.
You are one-up on me with the staying together for you instead of just the kids. Sounds like things are actually going well, but patience!!!!
Was the "park" comment embarrassing to your WW? Doesn't sound pleasant...<p>sweden

W wasn't in car when the 3 year old made the park comment. I kind of wish she would have been...

Sweden hit it again. Things change. It might go well for you. She is still there. (However hard it's been on you, you must be doing a good job.) <p>Some things are non-refundable, but sometimes you can get close to the same price with regular bookings. It's easier to cancel than to late book. <p>Shoot, take her without the kids. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
SS

Baffled:<p>Hm... Depending on how your conversations are going with your W (are you able to talk about sensitive topics without LBing?), you might want to bring this remark up to her and ask her what she plans to tell the kids about this "other relationship".<p>Dunno. Just what I plan to do if no contact doesn't happen soon around these parts...<p>Glad to hear things are going better than the last time I heard from you, though.<p>Sweden: Sounds like you're doing better, too. An update?<p>regards, dudes.

Ok, Sweden, I haven't seen an update from you lately either. What's happening? <p>Or did I just miss it. [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

OK,
Let me get to work where one doesn't pay for the internet by the minute (just one problem with this country). Then you can have the details of the past two months.<p>Sweden<p> [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]