Is there a time when you start to hate your WH? I am starting to really not like him. H still is protective of his pager and yes coded messages. I get so angry. I feel as if I am going to explode. I finally asked him why he so protective of his pager and he said "No,I'm not". I just left it like that.<p>Then he asked me if I thought he was still doing what he was doing. And I said ""Yes". Of course no response came out of his mouth. Things like that make me suspicious. I am really really trying Plan A to the hills... Is all my effort worth it. <p>I totally did something which was a major LB. I told him that I was going to mess with him and put different # in his pager. Then I said no I will use 7's. I have been seeing 7's in his pager. I wonder if it is the ow's code. He said "Why". I then said "No, I'm just kidding". But it left that suspicion in his mind and now I don't know if that was such a good thing to do. Well there is nothing that I could do about it now. <p>What a wicked ride. <p>Lost

Hate or anger is a very realistic emotion. i find I cycle between those two emotions, and being happy. That might sound weird, but I have always been a happy person, and after going through this for a while I'm starting to see my old self. I let our little girl play with her dolls, unfortunately they got broke. I honestly didn't do it, but I didn't keep then away from our daugther. If material things mean more to her then our family, I want to have nothing to do with her. Overall I know it is not healthy, and at some point the emotions toward the spouse have to stop.

lost:<p>Oh darn. Please try your hardest to be upbeat. You've come so far already. I know I'm not always the model of "plan Aness" but the LBing isn't worth the short-term good you might think you feel. Definitely don't stoop to the alien's methods now. <p>You are a good person! You need to keep as clear a head about this as you can. You shouldn't be thinking abotu going to a plan B in anger (if that's what you're thinking). <p>Instead of taking your anger out on your H, try getting away from him when you feel the urge to LB. Maybe go out for a walk or something? <p>hang in there!