For background to my story, please see<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=017702<p>
Latest development in my saga is that WW sent email to OM stating intention to break up relationship, to which OM replied by email that &#8220;his only way to prove his love to my WW is to kill himself&#8221;.<p>[note &#8211; all this info was obtained by snooping]<p>The little devil on my shoulder says that this is great news as a) if he does it - problem solved and b) this kind of reaction is a pretty big LB presumably for my WW. And the more LB the OM commits, the merrier.
On the other hand, that's pretty drastic stuff of course and any reaction needs to be well thought through.<p>Did any of you have a similar experience with OM having suicide threats? What does it mean? How best to react?

tell your wife to call 911 and let them handle it, If he is playing games, he will be embarrassed and stop.. If he is real.. then he will get the well needed help. <p> problem solved.

Nick - to answer your first question, I wasn't lucky enough to have this problem [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>Has your W told you of her intention to break things off with OM? or do you just know this thru snooping?<p>Since you're on the other side of the big pond from OM, I'd ignore this threat for two reasons. One, unless you KNOW this jerk to be suicidal, this sounds like affair crap between affairees. Two, if you inject yourself into this without being informed by your wife, you're running a big risk for a big time LB. But if your wife comes to you for advice, offer a rational recommendation based on your good sense.<p>For the record, I do not apologize for being insensitive to a threatened suicide by OM. I've stated here before that if I was given the chance to save the life of my XW's OM, I'd hesitate, but then I'd probably do it. BUT, if he got hit by a truck today, I'd conclude that it couldn't happen to a more deserving guy.

Thanks for both your feedback so far. Makes sense.<p>WAT - WW hasn't told me, and I absolutely agree that I shouldn't interfere unless asked. Yes, I only know it through snooping. OM is a musician and emotionally as grown-up as a little baby and therefore: yes, it may be real.
I'm a bit scared & surprised about my feelings here which are:
If he does it: hey, this is a free country where everybody can do what he wants according to his free will. I certainly wont stop him, the [censored].

Unfortunately I have experience with a family member committing suicide. Things I have learned is that most of the time threats of suicide are often manipulations and attempts to control others. That being said; those who truly want to commit suicide are going to do it regardless of what anyone else says or does. Amazing to me! CSue

Contact the mental health professionals, either he's sick or so horribly manipulative that he's sick. In either case, it is not your responsibility to save him, nor your wife's.

'HOW TO REACT?"<p>This is what "I" would do ....<p>I would be as up-beat and entertaining around WS as humanly possible. I would suggest to my WS that we go and do something kinda wild~N~crazy ... something we used to do "way back when" ... like Salsa dancing ... or go to a county fair ... or go skinny dippin'..... something to your mutual liking.<p>And then DO IT .... I'd be as affectionate as a puppy .... and make myself as cute as a button .... time to make sure the "comparrison to OP" a NO comparrison NO contest!!! ..... that the spouse (YOU) is an attractive/fun/loving/interesting winner and the OP is NOT even in the "normal functional" category. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>And keep yer mouth closed ... what this pest declairs he "might do" is none of yoiur dang business!!!<p>Go have a delightful weekend ... do the planning ... and do your wife ... if you catch my drift. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]
Change your spots ... and you will be VERY interesting to her.<p>Pepper [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]