Back for an update, this last week has been the longest and loneliest of my life. Every day is a roller coaster with an H who has been having an EA for 2 years. He has been working a night schedule on a temporary job so I only see him a few hours a day, but that will end in a week. Every time we talk I feel I am pulling him back in, where he does not want to go. He has agreed to a counseling session locally on Tues, and I have Dr Harley lined up for Tuesday morning for myself. I am afraid this local counselor might not have the same principals as those on this forum, and I am comfortable with these concepts. I just don't know if I can get him in on it, via the telephone. Plus the expense. Every day when we talk, I can tell he is so conflicted. He tells me that either direction he goes, he will lose. I have to bite my tongue off, because there is no logic with this EA. The information I have is that they meet once a week or 2 weeks for lunch and talk on email, not every day. I don't think he has been in contact with her since I found out, but things are so fragile now I just know I should not prod. I have been relatively calm, have shed some tears in our conversations, but have been very sympathetic to the reasons he has from withdrawn from me. I just want to scream that it makes no sense to dump a 17 year marriage, and 29 year relationship for someone he does not really know. I haven't told any family/friends yet, and don't know when I will. For now, next week and hope with counseling. Part of me wants to do the helpless female trick, be sick and develop and incurable disease, or just stay in bed for a week so he would feel bad and come to his senses. He is in a very deep fog. He has had trouble eating, but is so tired he sleeps. Thanks to all of you out there for your input so far, it has really helped me.
