Pepper,<p>I am thinking you are right.<p>At first, I thought joell really was just a lurker but then I did the search and lo and behold the stuff I came back with. It's scary, really, and I don't say this to be mean or insulting.....it's really downright
s-c-a-r-y!<p>
joell~ I really would love a response from you on my above post....because the way I have it figured is this:<p>1. You have a deep-seated hatred for women who have affairs. Never did I see you post to a woman who had been betrayed by her husband. Your posts almost exclusively were to either men who had been betrayed and giving them such advice as the following.....<p>
there are women, who for some obscure reason , need domination of some type. (some women
need domination????)<p>
kick your wife out. she does not respect you at the moment. if you don't get mean she will never respect you and consequently will never love you as you deserve. (if you don't
get mean she will never respect you nor love you?????)<p>
david , as the poster said you are being played for a chump. if you have to ask the question , should you let her go? then maybe you deserve what you are getting and I don't mean that as though I don't care about your pain, but you are playing the role of a facilator. you may as well go and along and help him undress her for lovemaking. bring them wine and play music for them as they make love under the stars. gosh david, come on buck up and throw her out (you deserve what you are getting and may as well help him screw her because he askes if he should let her go?????)<p>
it would still be going on is some respect if the lover had not spilt the beans on her. I believe, if you are to constinue to cohabitate with her you must get and maintain the upper hand from now on. your self respect demands it. and in order for her to love you she must respect you. that probably means a complete loss of all privacy for her. she must be acccountable for all conversations and times should you ask. also, I would withhold some forgiveness just to keep her honest (get the upper hand and withold some forgiveness to keep her honest????)<p>
I would insist on her phoning up the lover with me on another line and formally breaking the relationship with an apoligy for helping him to continue to be a sleezy slut chaser. (joell, I'm sure telling this guy to have his wife apologize for being a sleezy slut was not helping him. How sick!)<p>(of course, all of the above were just randomly selected....certainly are not the best nor worst of joell's posts.... randomly selected after I realized the sort of "advice" joell was giving to people....there's more, plenty more like the above)<p>...So you were either posting to men who's wives had cheated on them or you were posting to the cheating women themselves. For example.....<p>
your husband's anger naturally dissapated after a few minutes as it does with all of us. we can't sustain an intense emotional outburst for a long time normally. His episodes will likely shorten in duration. when he sets upon you as he did you might help yourself to realize its God's wrath working through your husband as well as his hurt. many believe that God chastizes us for our sins and it seems so. (Gods wrath working through your husband??? are you suggesting this woman take whatever hubby dishes out because it's from God? Sick, sick, s-i-c-k-o!)<p>(of course there are several more responses like this...."you reap what you sow", God is chastizing you through your husband's anger" and all of such bollocks)<p>2. of the 49 posts that the search pulled up...almost without fail, your replies were very much (if not outright) of a
misogynistic nature. Are you getting help for this? Although I do have to thank you, joell, because in doing these searches I did get a glimpse of several different situations from other people who have been hurt by betrayal....which only increased my beliefs that adultery is wrong to all involved.<p>3.I think it's very sad that you are using people's pain, regardless which side of betrayal they are on, for your own gratification. It must make you feel accomplished or good about yourself. (I hope not, I hope you aren't receiving anything remotely resembling "joy" from the things you post.)<p>Obviously you have been wounded deeply by a woman who has had an affair...and possibly produced a child of this relationship. Again, are you getting help for all this this? Joell, please get help for this. This is not healthy and I pray for any women who cross your path and don't bend to your will, wrath of God, upperhand, or whatever other notions you may have about "healthy" relationships.<p>Joell, I am not angry at you (I don't know if you intended to rile me or not) but I am not angry in the least. I am not upset at what you posted to me but what you posted to others who are in pain is in need of some concern. I feel terrible for you.<p>I can't imagine how ANY of the above quotes of yours could be beneficial much less on a MARRIAGE BUILDING website....which leads me to believe that you aren't here to truly help people, but to fulfill some sort of twisted personal agenda from whatever cards life has dealt you.<p>God bless and I will definitely be praying for you,<p>selket<p>P.S. I couldn't stop thinking about the things I read. I can't get this "advice" out of my mind. So, I decided to amend my post with some questions and other thoughts.<p>[ May 19, 2002: Message edited by: selket ]</p>
