I usually post here under another name...but have a question I don't want associated with my Identity.<p>My WW and I are separated..and PA/EA is continuing.
My WW is a member of an orginization where the OM works. I have evidence that WW and OM had sexual encounters within those facilities after hours, before DDay...in order to keep it a secret. (It was about the only place they could have privacy)<p>If the people in charge of this orginization found this out, OM would likely be fired, and my WW would likely be discharged from her involvement in this orginization as well. This would definately put some stress on their A.<p>Should I annoymonously inform these people of whats been going on at their buildings?
Or should I keep quiet.

Well...
From the perspective of a BS, TELL THEM!
My H would have lost his job, and the OW's H would have beat the "*&#%" out of him, I wish someone would have told! (I did not know)

name fortoday,
I guess it depends on if you want to hurt your wife more than the damage that has been done.
first of all uless you have video you have no proof and might be considered, a spiteful husband capable of lying. Think twice, before you do this. It might effect you more than them.

Vendictiveness and revenge only accomplish "temporary and short lived satisfaction". Yes it is tempting, but would you really feel good about it, wouldn't that be lowering yourself to their standards and have you thought about the reprocussions?<p>Isn't that one of the first things WS accuse us the BS of? Being vendictive? Don't prove them right!<p>Just my feelings........<p>(((((HUGS))))) [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

<<Vendictiveness and revenge only accomplish "temporary and short lived satisfaction". Yes it is tempting, but would you really feel good about it, wouldn't that be lowering yourself to their standards and have you thought about the reprocussions?
Isn't that one of the first things WS accuse us the BS of? Being vendictive? Don't prove them right!>><p>Its not about revenge. If I was interested in that, I'd go see the OM myself.
What I want is my WW and the OM to be accountable for what they've done.
This man gave my wife an uncurable STD, and she gave it to me. Neither one of them considered my young child. They just think they can do whatever they want regardless of who gets hurt.
Personally, I've had it! They're lying to everyone, and I just feel people should know the truth about who they really are and what they've done. My silence only protects the OM and my WW.

my guess is people at work already know,
I dont think you would do any thing but hurting your self. did you remain married are you working on it? This is a major LB and wont help the situation.
People dont hide stuff as well as they think they do.
I can tell you my xom lost his job, not for the same reasons, but you know what, he has a better job than before, more money more perks.
I dont really see how this would help you, it would be short lived happiness on your part.
I hate to see you add more pain.

Not worth it.<p>She will figure out that it was you.<p>That will NOT help your marriage.<p>Totally a waste of time.<p>E

I agree 100% with jtw...<p>It ain't worth it...<p>E

bump......<p>Im interested to hear as many opinions on this as I can.

The fact that he gave your wife an incurable STD and she then gave it to you really crosses the line. Someone today said the following today:<p>No consequences to her behavior = No motivation to change<p>At this point I would certainly tell the organization only if you have proof. I cannot imagine you wishing to remain with her. I am very sorry that you had to catch a disease from your wife. I am amazed she is still with him after all this. I do not think either of them deserve sympathy. You will be doing a service to the company and a lesson will be learned that there are repercussions to all actions. I wish you luck.

I can relate to the urge to do this (I could do something very similiar) but, I will not do it.<p>Yes, it is easy to think that they should be made accountable for thier actions. In my case I am at peace knowing that at some point they will be held accountable for thier actions. I do not need to be the force that brings this on them. I am certain it will come back to get them at some point, and it will be more satisfying if I did not cause it. I also still hope my WW cames out of the fog herself.<p>In my case I did confront the OM and I now regret it. It served no purpose other than a temporary release of my anger and pain, and brought me down to thier level. I would suggest you let time take care the situation, you don't need to take it upon yourself.<p>Good luck.

Still thinking bout this, still thinking you have nothing to gain.<p>E

I told the company, I told hr, I told his boss.. my h, his coworkers.. etc.. did me no good.. hr says they cant fire workers for this reason... but shortly... after all this there was a big company lay off and many many employess were laid off... guess what , both of them werre! yea@ Now, I wish my h was still making money, but it went to his head... anyway.. he had a job making more money than ever before... etc... <p>anyway.. my h is still mad at me over this... and it has almost bee n 9 months... or so... wow... waht a mess... i still remember that night he didnt come home.. and the night I called her blasted number from the cell phone memory... aghhhh@ it is awful ,and crazy... <p>Now, in hind sight from the intense anger stange... yes, I confronted ow too... first on the phone,,.. and by accident I ran into her out with my Husband... waht a scene... a nightmare more like it.. .nowhere i ever want to be again... <p>now, I would handle it differently.. with poise and letting go... it did not do any good.. in fact it made me feel worse.. <p>do what is bets for you...<p>honey

I told the company, I told hr, I told his boss.. my h, his coworkers.. etc.. did me no good.. hr says they cant fire workers for this reason... but shortly... after all this there was a big company lay off and many many employess were laid off... guess what , both of them werre! yea@ Now, I wish my h was still making money, but it went to his head... anyway.. he had a job making more money than ever before... etc... <p>anyway.. my h is still mad at me over this... and it has almost bee n 9 months... or so... wow... waht a mess... i still remember that night he didnt come home.. and the night I called her blasted number from the cell phone memory... aghhhh@ it is awful ,and crazy... <p>Now, in hind sight from the intense anger stange... yes, I confronted ow too... first on the phone,,.. and by accident I ran into her out with my Husband... waht a scene... a nightmare more like it.. .nowhere i ever want to be again... <p>now, I would handle it differently.. with poise and letting go... it did not do any good.. in fact it made me feel worse.. <p>do what is bets for you...<p>honey